My Thanksgiving; The Fun & the F**k up(s)!

by Cheryl Courtney-Evans
posted Nov. 29, 2012

Here we are, a week after Thanksgiving, and I'm finally rested enough to share with you my Thanksgiving holiday...I know so many people who have a "slanted" view of the transgender community, that would not believe we would have a "traditional" Thanksgiving, in the bosom of our families, enjoying their company and the love that goes with family.

While unfortunately this may be true of too many of us, I'm proud, pleased and humbled to say that I happen to be one of the lucky transfolks that do have the support and love of theirs. This played out a couple of weeks ago, when one of my sisters, who lives here in Atlanta, came by my house and said, "You've GOT to come home (Kansas City) with me for Thanksgiving. I'll arrange a "buddy pass" [stand by] for you on the airfare (she's a retired flight attendant), and we can go together and surprise our brother for Thanksgiving." I jumped at the chance, as I hadn't been home for about the last 5 years (even though I'd kept in touch via telephone, I hadn't seen anyone face to face). 


So a week ago Monday, we flew the friendly skies and that afternoon the first fabulously fun thing that happened was when we showed up at my brother's home. I sent my sisters into the house first, warning them to leave the front door open, so I could slip in unannounced a couple of minutes later...it was great to see the look on my brother's face when I walked in the door in the middle of his conversation with them. His eyes became round as silver dollars, and his mouth dropped open for a full five minutes!! He just sat there and began breathing so heavily that we almost became afraid of an impending heart attack! LOL, What followed was so much hugging and laughing, I thought my ribs would be bruised afterward. (As it turned out, he revealed that he'd been trying to figure out how to bring me home to surprise my sister, so he was doubly pleased I'd made it there.)

What followed this reunion was a trip to my sister's home where we would be staying; besides having this reunion, we'd come to also assist her in preparing for the Thanksgiving family get together that Thursday, that's why we'd come so early in the week. What great fun to share the cooking and cleaning, all the while joking and sharing our memories of holidays past! Besides lending a 'helping hand' with other dishes, I cooked the ham...

MY ham...

Dessert & bread table

But before going further, I've got to backtrack and tell y'all about one "f**k up" of my trip...

When we arrived at my sister's house and I began to unpack my suitcase, I was surprised to find something wrong. Since we hear so much about theft by baggage handlers, I've taken to putting small padlocks on my luggage when I travel, making it very difficult for me to suffer any possible losses (and I'd packed my laptop). I found that one of my padlocks had been cut off! This shocked me and had me fearing the worst (that my laptop would be gone), and I yanked it open only to find that lock taped to a piece of paper explaining that the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) had cut it off for "inspection"...

Once again I am reminded of September 11, and how then Pres. Bush had made all that noise about how, "...we Americans are NOT going to allow terrorists to determine how we travel; we are going to go about our business as usual...", and we have not traveled without fear since. I was also kinda pissed that the notice informed me that they "would not be liable for any cost related to the removal of the lock" (even though it didn't cost much though, it was the principle of the thing). This minor incident really ticked  me off (with all their x-ray machines and so forth, I couldn't understand why they had to cut my lock off), but moving right along...*shrug*

My sisters and I had a great time preparing for the family that would be coming...taking breaks to watch movies (my older sister is partial to Westerns) for the next two days, and when Thursday (Thanksgiving) arrived, we were READY. 

The night before, my brother's wife had come with extra tables and we all set them up in preparation for the day of...

It was great. My oldest sister's sons and her daughter, grown now with small families of their own, my brother and his wife, all of us had the greatest time. While there, I also had a  "deep" conversation with my oldest nephew; he and I had grown up together for a while, with me being more of an "older sibling". He explained to me how difficult it was for him (particularly as I have been away from home so much of the time, and not being around regularly during my transition) to adjust to my transition, but assuring me that it had no effect on his love and respect for me. I cannot tell you how much this conversation meant to me...and although I didn't have this specific conversation with the rest of my 'clan' during the dinner and other activities, I could feel the love and got my "props" from everyone. I FELT HOME! 

That day reminded me of just how lucky I am to be among those transgender individuals whose family is supportive and accepting. I urge all my transgender friends, wherever possible, to re-connect with your family if you can. Try to understand that when you transition, they have issues to confront and are in effect, transitioning with you. Finding/keeping that familial connection can be so exhilarating!

Now comes the next "f**k up"...my departure to return to Atlanta.

Flying on a "buddy pass" [stand by] means one must take any seat that is available on a plane, so while you might go to the airport when there are 'seats available', by the time the plane allows folks to board, those seats may disappear. You guessed it...we went to the airport on Saturday, and waited through three flights, but ended up still in Kansas City; and the airline had an "embargo" on buddy passes for Sunday, so we wouldn't be able to leave until Monday (but our bags got on the first plane and would be in Atlanta). 

BUT the "lemons to lemonade" part of this story is that, as we wouldn't be able to leave until Monday, we would be at my sister's house for one more day, and would therefore be able to assist in putting up her Christmas tree and other holiday decorations (and having another day of fun with the family). So Sunday was spent achieving the following:

My nephews decorated the yard.

So I returned to Atlanta (arriving Monday night around 9:00 PM), and have spent the last few days resting (more or less) and remembering...giving thanks for having the family I have. I hope you all enjoyed YOUR Thanksgiving as well...